Finding time...

It is Sunday, and again, I am dreading the upcoming week. It is not because I am stressed or because I cannot handle what I am doing... it is simply because I know time is not on my side.

A typical day in my world...
Between 5:00 and 5:30 - Wake up to feed Ballerina
6:00 - Begin getting ready for work/school...wake up kids, get kids dressed, make bottles, get breakfast for all, fold a load of laundry, etc.
7:00...and no later than 7:00, leave for school
7:40 - hopefully I have made it to school! Sometimes I struggle...one or both of them cries as I leave, I forgot it was picture day, one of them is running a temp so I stop for medicine, etc.
Once I am at work, there is a sense of calmness. I can handle work.
4:50 - I leave a meeting that I feel guilty about leaving to go and pick up the kids...I have no other options
On the way home, we run by Wal-Mart to get some things for the science teachers, we hurry to make a church meeting I am already late for, I stop for gas, and I swing through McDonald's to grab a diet Coke for me and a snack for the kids.
In route, I make several phone calls trying to catch up on the work meeting I had to leave early, making plans for the weekend birthday party, arranging who will pick up the older two the next day, who will pick up the younger two when I have class, etc.
I set up all of the kids with homework, Leapsters, etc. while I attend the meeting; however, their entertainment is short lived...
By 7:45 they are burned and hungry...again, I leave a meeting I feel guilty about leaving.
I head home.
8:00 we get home. We immediately begin baths, homework/backpack review, tending to the animals, etc. while I start cooking dinner.
I can get them in and out of the bath in less than 20 minutes...Dinner is on the table. We all sit and eat...well everybody eats but me (I feed Ella).
Then it is a mad rush for story time, brush teeth time and bed time.
By a little after 9 all but Ella are in bed.
I grab dinner as Eric walks in...We eat together.
9:20ish I begin my homework.
I usually work on my homework until at least midnight. I have articles to read, statistics to figure out, etc. Somewhere in the middle of my homework, I also feed Ella and put her down, start another load of laundry and bake a casserole for the next morning.
A little after midnight I head to the shower.
After my shower, I make sure everything we need for the next morning is set out, pick up the house a little, empty the trash, etc.
Sometime around 1 or 1:30, I head to bed. I read articles for class until I fall asleep.
I wake up to feed 1 or 2 times...and then start all over the next day.

Shoot, this day is pretty clam...throw me having to go to class, a school event, soccer practice, skating lessons, gymnastics, me taking an exam, etc. in to the mix...and that is when it gets a little hairy. This is a NORMAL, SLOW day...a day when I do not have anything really going on...

Is anything about my day particularly stressful? No
Is anything about my day something I cannot handle? No
Is anything about my day out-of-the-ordinary for parents? No

So why am I so tired?

I always feel as if there are simply not enough hours in the day, and while I find joy in everything I do, I struggle and worry that I am not being the best I can be at anything I do.

I am told that I need to take time for myself. I am told that I need to work out...that I need to sit in the tub for a while...that I should go to the spa...that I should have quiet time alone..that I should read a book for pleasure... These are all fine ideas that I am interested in doing, but when?

Funny thing...when I think about what I would REALLY do if I had more time...I would read another story to the kids, we would go to the park, we would take the dogs for a walk, we would plant a garden, we would ride our bikes, we would play a game, my husband and I would do something together...these are the things I would do if I really had more time. I do not need more time for me...I need more time for us.

My resolution for 2008 was to create more "us time"...but as of right now, I am not doing too well! :) I guess I need to reevaluate my plan.

Until I have more time...