Motherhood's Gambles

Motherhood is like a crap shoot...Raising kids is really more like playing the odds. You know, I can read all sorts of parenting books, keep abreast of the newest philosophies and have the best intentions, but when it comes down to it, I am really just gambling that what I am doing each minute of each day when it comes to raising the things I love more than anything in this world is right.

So, Saturday Gunnar cam into the kitchen where Lauren and I were sitting and announced that G had just peed on the floor in the playroom. I wish I could say that this ruffled my feathers because it is such an uncommon occurrence, but it really did not...nothing G does really surprises me now! I have just come to expect that he is going to do something completely crazy...Yes, I even expect that he is going to straight-up, intentionally pee on the playroom floor! This is my normal!

I momentarily dismiss Gunnar's news...I decide to save my comments for Grayson for a later time...

However, just seconds later he wanders into the kitchen asking if he can put on his bathing suit because pee got on his shorts. Knowing the "real story" I ask G why pee was on his shorts...

Yea, he had no answer...

So, I ask, "Did you mean to pee on the floor? ...Did you do it on purpose?"

He nods yes. (These were rhetorical questions...I knew the answers...)

So, I with my brilliant parenting skills and tactics say as I point, "Hey G can you go and get me that baseball glove off the floor over there?"

"Why Mommy?"

"I have to pee, and I think that I am going to pee on you glove that you care about like you peed on the floors I care about." (Please feel free to borrow my parenting tactics...these ARE awesome!)

At that moment, I think I got him...I just know that any second from now he is going to cry asking me not to pee on his glove and beg for my forgiveness for purposefully peeing on my floor. Yet, instead, he is unaffected by my comments and asks why I would do something so ridiculous.

I decide to play another angle...If you are a good gambler, you always have what you think is an ace in the hole...So, I say, "Oh, G, I have a better idea, why don't you go and get me a Pokemon...I really have to pee, and I am going to pee on it like you peed on my floors."

This time his face is not at all perplexed and he turns to go get the Pokemon...

"Okay Mommy, it is Cannon's...I do not care if you pee on it!"

He would have a full house! And, once again, I, the mother, am forced to fold.